Mouse Farts in a Wind Tunnel

January 17, 2003

I have recently been the unwilling participant in another person's psychodrama. The whole conflict is both tiring and invigorating, particularly as it reminds me of the pleasure I get from fighting dirty. In many ways, I'm not a very nice person, especially when someone who is not the boss of me tries to tell me what to do. I have worked hard to learn to communicate and negotiate to get my needs met (therapy-speak for getting my own way). It's quite odd to run into a person who is pathological enough to think that "my way or the highway" is a reasonable bargaining point. Of course, it immediately pushes me on the defensive and requires that I take the same position. Buttons pushed: I hate losing, I hate being told what to do, I hate people who threaten me, I hate people who immediately run to Daddy-authority when they perceive that they won't move me with their tantrums and anger. It's like being eight years old again.

Fighting dirty was a lesson I learned from my father. When I was little, getting beat up by another kid in the neighborhood, Dad told me that is was okay to fight dirty, as long as I fought to win. Life lessons from a nutjob. Unlearning that bit of fatherly counsel has taken years. Sinking into the dirty fight again feels like coming home. Yuck.

posted by el goose on 1/17/2003 01:45:17 PM | link

But I love The Fly Guy.

posted by el goose on 1/17/2003 01:46:18 PM | link

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January 16, 2003

I been linked to!

I just fiddle around with this blog and usually feel like I'm talking to myself, which isn't an unusual occurrence for me. But it makes me happy to know that someone has taken a look.

I met RKB on Metafilter (more addictive than crack!), in a snarky conversation about our mutual alma mater. I've been reading his blog recently -- it's exactly the kind I like. Regular peeks into his life, including cute photos of his daughters, interesting IT stuff, political ideas, links to recipes -- what I consider a basic charming blog from someone who has ideas and can write about them well. I'm just too lazy to put it in my Daily Dose list right now. But I will.

posted by el goose on 1/16/2003 10:17:46 AM | link

You were expecting John Galt?

Since I've already told you about one of my regular reads, here's another: Digby's Hullabaloo. Insightful political analysis and mighty fine writing.

Throughout the campaign, as George W. Bush assured us that George W. Bush was "a leader because he could lead," (while others were quietly winking about the "grown-ups" keeping the frat boy out of trouble) I kept wondering," What will George W. Bush do when his grown-ups disagree?" How does a man like this make such a decision? How will someone with so little experience with responsibility --- someone who doesn't have even have an interest in understanding the complexities of making life and death decisions --- how does someone like this weigh competing interests, particularly since he doesn't appear to have developed even a Reaganesque set of basic principles to which he can always refer for simple guidance?

That these questions were asked, much less so difficult to answer, proved unequivocally to me that this man was unqualified to be President. Nonetheless, he sits in the Oval Office and the answers to those questions are beginning to emerge.

He makes decisions based upon the most primitive, unrefined aspects of human nature, most often deciding instinctively in favor of the most combative, aggressive course of action until reality and necessity intrudes and he reverses course and follows the advice of his more sophisticated and rational advisors. It is not just that he takes a simple instinctive gut check after listening to competing views, it's that his gut seems to always favor a show down over a negotiation even when it is obviously counter productive and dangerous. Unsurprisingly, his instincts are that of an insecure rich boy surrounded by "friends" who manipulate him with sycophantic ego strokes to his manliness --- a troubled child whose father is constantly having to bail him out of trouble.

Of course, looking back we can see that when he snickered and callously mocked Karla Faye Tucker's plea for clemency that we were dealing with an extremely immature and emotionally stunted individual. It was a spontaneous illustration of the man's juvenile cruel streak and his instinctive rejection of compassion and complexity. It told us everything we needed to know. We were constantly asked to judge him on his great "heart" if not his intellect, to evaluate him on the basis of his "dignity" and "honor" and that is exactly what this country ought to have done.

I'm in love.

posted by el goose on 1/16/2003 11:29:48 AM | link

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January 15, 2003

This explains the rest.

Why Alfred E Neuman made J Edgar Hoover and his boys so raving Mad -- A friend sent me the link to this story from the Independent about the ways the FBI and various other moral watchdogs put the editors of Mad Magazine on their list. For twenty years or so, the Feds worried about that Commie Alfred E. Neuman. Those twenty years included both my mom's formative years and mine.

Thanks, John.

posted by el goose on 1/15/2003 02:13:43 PM | link

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January 14, 2003

On this day in history, A. Philip Randolph "president of the Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters & chief spokesperson for the African American working class, calls for a March on Washington, demanding racial integration of the military & equal access to defense-industry jobs."

posted by el goose on 1/14/2003 11:13:24 AM | link

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January 15, 2003

Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz
This explains it all.

I did mention I am addicted to internet quizzes, didn't I?

posted by el goose on 1/15/2003 12:21:17 AM | link

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